Countdown

We carved our pumpkins that dreadful night we learned how long we could expect you to exist in your current and only form. Inoperable was the word we didn’t want to hear and as we scooped out handfuls of that stringy pulp, we tried to focus on your joy instead of that small round patchContinue reading “Countdown”

Lost

Lost. I love that word, so often pushed upon the young and the single— the wayward population of misfits who don’t settle, or won’t. But I’m anchored, happily, to a house and family in the uneventful suburbs with navigable roads and a grocery store in sight. I already know the story of tomorrow. There’s noContinue reading “Lost”

Division

For a while I suspected there was something beautiful growing in your heart that wasn’t meant for me and I watched it bloom into abundance and I watered it carefully wondering who would prune the branches when they began to reach for the door and the car keys at odd hours in the day— and howContinue reading “Division”

Fan Mail (for Stephen Dunn)

I can only write this because I know— or at least I have reason to assume— you’ve been here in a similar chair in a similar darkness which covers evening with a kind of urgency to speak in sentences that can never be mistaken for platitudes or pleasantries— I want to reduce the enormous weightContinue reading “Fan Mail (for Stephen Dunn)”

Almost in Amsterdam

From our small round table I watched you maneuver to the bar through a dozen shiny obstacles, breaking up that straight line I could tell you were used to walking.   Careless dancers writhed and glistened under a sparkling globe the size of another world as the smokers, lifting their chins, exhaled metallic puffs.  Continue reading “Almost in Amsterdam”

Love Letter

My dearest, you are not my first love or my second, or my third. But you might be the fourth (or fifth). I’ll have to give it some thought and get back to you. Just remember there were a lot of years before we met, and even though you aren’t my first husband you’re myContinue reading “Love Letter”

All There Is

Today I’m in love with you again— and it isn’t because I choose to be, but because preference isn’t something handed to you which can be refused by free will or reason.   Today I am distracted by this love I didn’t ask for, didn’t want— and all I can do is wait for itContinue reading “All There Is”

Reminder

When you’re a child you expect that everything you need will be provided, which proves to be mostly true.   When you’re young – in love, you expect that you will receive the same things you give, which is also mostly true.   When you’re racing from youth to middle age you must constantly remindContinue reading “Reminder”

Overlapping Magisteria

Here in the dark lab of my room glowing with the light of this screen I can research anything I want but comprehend only what I am able which isn’t everything or even close and I wonder if I am limited in some similar way when I study paintings, sculptures— which are never as abstractContinue reading “Overlapping Magisteria”

Impediment

All morning my hood was up warming my head and muffling sound waves coming from the radio, and my cocoon was pleasant while I thought of horses wearing blinders— those beautiful and powerful animals without a choice. And without moving my head I tried to look left and then right but I could only seeContinue reading “Impediment”