Anything

It has been your answer so many times. It is what you would do say sacrifice trade give give up. Anything. Any one thing. If any one thing could bring back cause prevent erase or change, you would hand it over willingly joyfully quickly. But you have never found scales sturdy enough to measure yourContinue reading “Anything”

Sides

You have one. So does he. All it means is that a line’s been drawn and crossed and this, it seems, is how you learn about division just  after you mastered multiplication of all those things you decided you didn’t like or couldn’t stand or didn’t have the endurance to survive. But before you igniteContinue reading “Sides”

Tribute

Sometimes you pull a book off the shelves to help you with the waiting. Anthologies allow you to open the book somewhere in the middle and glimpse an entire universe of sensation without starting from the beginning or missing out on the ending because you don’t have time to complete anything right now. You haveContinue reading “Tribute”

Control

You like to think you have it most of the time— that it’s one of your possessions, saved for and bought with experience and time. Does it really matter (you wonder to yourself) if you leave it at home when you know you’ll be seeing her again? And all you want is for her toContinue reading “Control”

Bridge

This is it. It’s enough. This bathtub this music this time I have left to feel something warm and pleasant surrounding me before I become lost in the watery ambiguity of what is dry and cold and eternal. Water is the bridge between life and death— it’s in the womb before the light appears andContinue reading “Bridge”

O Negative

The email says “Urgent: Your Negative is a Positive!” and has been sent out en masse with the impersonal “Dear Donor” at the top of the page. I’m reminded that my blood is in great need today, and 30 is the number of orders that couldn’t be filled over the weekend. Compatibility is the giftContinue reading “O Negative”

Life Support

Tempting to ask what were you thinking out there on the open road without a helmet but everyone already knows the answer to questions like that and if we who ask want the correct answer instead of the right answer it might be a good idea to rewind the tape and watch your life inContinue reading “Life Support”

Bad Poetry

More than decoding trigonometry in high school is how much I hate poetry when it’s bad and still makes its way like a laughing FUCK YOU onto the pages of prestigious publications that promise news and art and poetry for poetry’s sake. Poetry for poetry’s sake is as empty as a dry water bucket inContinue reading “Bad Poetry”

No Music

So so soothing it is to think of you when days are rough as sandpaper So so beautiful it is to watch you on the spot lit stage of memory So so peaceful it is to keep you alive wondering if we might have fallen in love. So so strange it is that beauty isContinue reading “No Music”

Graph Paper

If you want to understand why silence trumped my love for him you need to imagine the days as paper. Graph paper. Not a single sheet, but the entire pad. 100 pages of 1,496 squares. That’s one hundred days and one thousand four hundred and ninety six thoughts on every page each page 24 hours.Continue reading “Graph Paper”