Mad Love

Madness.
This is what you want.
This is what you hope for
crave
desire.
This is what you’ve never had.
You want love to mean necessity
no matter what.
You want love to mean
whatever it takes.
You want love
to be waiting up for you
longing for you
searching for you
carving out a place for you
dying for a moment with you—
sometimes you want love to say
just a minute
to everything but you—
You,
who would give life and limb
to hold such passion in your arms—
to return it
breathe it
swallow it
become it—
this is what you want
on a night like this
when everything you have to give
is contained inside you
boiling
steaming
waiting to be wanted
and consumed—
all of it going
to such terrible waste.

 

 

 

 

DeMaris
3-1-17

 

“Lady of Shalott” John William Waterhouse, 1888

Published by demarisgaunt

I currently live in Greenwood, Indiana. I love to listen to music, books on CD, podcasts or NPR as I work in my studio.  My favorite artists are Andrew Wyeth and Edward Hopper. I love poetry, but only the good stuff that isn’t so abstract I can’t understand it. Abstraction better lends itself to visual art, I think. Stephen Dunn is my favorite poet. He’s said just about anything that can be said about the inner workings of the heart and mind. My favorite novel is Atonement by Ian McEwan. My all time favorite band is The Cure. I love science, and anything that relates to how the mind works. I don’t believe in the supernatural. If I could meet anyone in the world, it would be Richard Dawkins or Steven Pinker. If you don’t buy my art or read my poetry, buy one of their books. It will enrich if not change your life.  My favorite things to do are hiking, kayaking and camping. My favorite food is so common, I’ll keep you in suspense (It starts with a P). I prefer chocolate to vanilla. Green is my favorite color. I have an aversion to planning or scheduling of any kind, and I live for spontaneous adventures! Telephone conversations make me anxious, and I avoid them at almost all cost. I had a happy childhood. I’m having a pretty fantastic adulthood. I have every intention of seeing my 100th birthday, after which I will happily relinquish my guts to the future of medicine. Cheers! ~DeMaris

9 thoughts on “Mad Love

  1. I dig the accessibility and the format. (I know that’s not the first thing you want to read in reaction to such a visceral piece.)
    As much, I really like how the tone balances on a line between observation and judgement.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks. I always go for accessibility. It’s nearly as important to me as the content.

    I feel like we all share this occasional desperation.

    Glad you liked the poem.

    Like

  3. Desperation, devastation, frustration, longing…

    It was a realization that a relationship was lopsided. I wrote it on March 1st, but I felt like sharing it today. Sadly, it is relevant. I say sadly, because it hurts to realize that nothing has really changed since then.

    My heart is a little bit broken after I pulled the plug on this relationship.

    This too shall pass.

    Like

  4. Madness? Are you questioning whether wanting such a thing is madness? Is madness more encompassing?
    Feels.
    I often wonder how these slices of time affect a person at any later moment in time.
    I’m finding that while I am appreciating your wonderful word usage, I’m more struck by the emotion in your verse. Like I’d mentioned with the Eilen Jewell songs…I hear and feel because I’ve been there or am there.
    Random, unfinished thoughts.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. No, I’m not questioning whether wanting such a thing is madness.

    Madly in love. That’s the meaning I’m going for.

    But is it mad to expect it? To hope for it?

    Is the most satisfying love the kind of love that exists inside us while we are wanting? While we are dreaming and fantasizing about what a life with someone would be like?

    Sometimes I wonder if that’s as good as it gets… that state of being almost, but not quite, in possession of our hearts desire.

    Because once we have it: love, an understanding, an agreement, a commitment, then it gets hard.

    The easiest thing in the world to do is fall in love. It’s involuntary.

    The hardest thing in the world to do is keep it afloat. Which means self sacrifice, accepting and forgiving, etc etc…

    I don’t have any of it figured out. Even what I just said is probably mostly bullshit. Lol.

    Like

    1. Most of what you said isn’t bullshit because I think I’ve said much the same recently. Though that may have been on a blog post I deleted because of that personal vs. nature blog page thingie. Perhaps I’ve said it elsewhere. Keeping it afloat. Communication and trust are paramount. Passion helps greatly. Mutual passions. Corresponding passions. (But…passions don’t necessarily all have to be mutual. I think you know what I mean. Life is boring if we didn’t have *some* different interests?)
      Surely the most satisfying kind of love is finding and making that kind of love happen? The kind we dream and fantasize about with another? Isn’t that what it’s all about? Finding someone who understands that about the other and goes out of his or her way to fulfill that. Someone who *wants* to do that as best they can? Part of it is the intent…and capability. But that gets back a bit to communication and trust.
      It shouldn’t get hard if it’s what both people truly want. Because…it’s such a great thing when it works. Such great potential. A dream maybe.
      To greatly paraphrase an Allen Reynolds song (which I’m familiar with via the Cowboy Junkies):
      “I hope that I find what I’m reaching for
      The way that it is in my mind…
      …Dreaming my dreams with you.”
      Yes, falling in love is very, very easy.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Not to be odd…but perhaps we have to, on one more innocent level…treat the other as we would our children. You’d do anything to protect them and keep them happy and healthy. You are each other’s charges and guardians. You do your best to make sure they succeed and are happy. To make sure their life is a fulfilling one. But on a different level than with your children.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Reposting under my actual name to avoid weirdness:
    “Madness? Are you questioning whether wanting such a thing is madness? Is madness more encompassing?
    Feels.
    I often wonder how these slices of time affect a person at any later moment in time.
    I’m finding that while I am appreciating your wonderful word usage, I’m more struck by the emotion in your verse. Like I’d mentioned with the Eilen Jewell songs…I hear and feel because I’ve been there or am there.
    Random, unfinished thoughts.”

    Like

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