May 2017 – demarisspeaks

Beds

Neat and tidy beds are for beginners who haven’t spent enough time sitting by the open window with a pillow crushed between their chest and knees breathing in the lilac gone wild or the sweet magnolia ashei demanding to be inhaled. Neat and tidy beds are for those who need control over creativity— who believeContinue reading “Beds”

Needs

Mine yours ours so many of them different complex separated by widths that span the oceans of your blue eyes and the forests of mine and sometimes they overlap and are tangled intertwined in knots which is when they are visible and most likely to be met. DeMaris 5-29-17

All of You

I wanted all of you instead of just the part of you that loved me. I wanted the other bits too— the large and burdened sections of you that felt unhinged and reckless for breaking up the calm you thought would always be yours. I wanted you to want me to see your shadow side—Continue reading “All of You”

Terms

We haven’t exactly agreed on what they are since we began in friendship months ago but it’s clear that making love (or maybe it was just sex to you) isn’t going to be the beautiful connection that causes your desire to lean in my direction or provoke an honest conversation with the woman you claimContinue reading “Terms”

She and Me

He doesn’t tell her about me because he doesn’t want to hurt her so he hurts me with that same silence, which, to him seems like a favor instead of a lie— so she and me are two pieces of cake before him and he won’t finish one before he starts on the other— andContinue reading “She and Me”

Eros

Now that I know how it feels to be full of you my body is an empty ache a hollow tunnel swollen shut around a memory only you can erase or improve. DeMaris 5-22-17

Divided

I want too much again after I thought I’d convinced myself to enjoy whatever leftovers he gives me which is all he can give because he’s giving to her too and why should I want more than his love which he promised is mine even though she gets his bed and his time and hisContinue reading “Divided”

Out Loud

Now that it’s over and I begin to speak of us out loud in past tense I am able to listen to myself explain to others how a perfectly complacent marriage became a severing of the cleanest kind without war or bitterness or even regret because neither of us will take responsibility for our contribution—Continue reading “Out Loud”

I Am Here…

…on the verge of calling it quits throwing in the towel throwing up my hands walking away giving up on everyone who acts like love means sometimes. Occasionally. Half hearted. Maybe. Maybe not. I am almost entirely invisible until I am almost gone. DeMaris 5-6-17 “Miranda – The Tempest” byContinue reading “I Am Here…”