Let’s Try This Again

I am here
alive
numb
failed mother
failed wife
cheater
the other woman
mother fucker
cock sucker
home wrecker
raw
wild
unpredictable
honest
to a fault
poet
communicator
capturer
of nature
nurturer
I am alone
lonely
a loner
lost
in the fist
of poverty
caged by fear
ugly
stupid
to believe him
to believe in love
this is not
going anywhere
nowhere
this is a crisis
a fling
this is
the meaning
of meaninglessness
this is emptiness
emptied out
inside out
on the floor
not even close
to suicide
life
punishes
I accept
I deserve this
I wonder
I ache
I remember
the feeling
of hope
the way
it looked like
happiness
was possible
once
long ago
I think
I can feel it
see it
find it
this time
if I try again
if I stop looking
in all the wrong
places.

 

 

 

DeMaris
12-10-18

“Melancholy” by Edgar Degas, 1874

Published by demarisgaunt

I currently live in Greenwood, Indiana. I love to listen to music, books on CD, podcasts or NPR as I work in my studio.  My favorite artists are Andrew Wyeth and Edward Hopper. I love poetry, but only the good stuff that isn’t so abstract I can’t understand it. Abstraction better lends itself to visual art, I think. Stephen Dunn is my favorite poet. He’s said just about anything that can be said about the inner workings of the heart and mind. My favorite novel is Atonement by Ian McEwan. My all time favorite band is The Cure. I love science, and anything that relates to how the mind works. I don’t believe in the supernatural. If I could meet anyone in the world, it would be Richard Dawkins or Steven Pinker. If you don’t buy my art or read my poetry, buy one of their books. It will enrich if not change your life.  My favorite things to do are hiking, kayaking and camping. My favorite food is so common, I’ll keep you in suspense (It starts with a P). I prefer chocolate to vanilla. Green is my favorite color. I have an aversion to planning or scheduling of any kind, and I live for spontaneous adventures! Telephone conversations make me anxious, and I avoid them at almost all cost. I had a happy childhood. I’m having a pretty fantastic adulthood. I have every intention of seeing my 100th birthday, after which I will happily relinquish my guts to the future of medicine. Cheers! ~DeMaris

One thought on “Let’s Try This Again

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