Grief, Stage Five

So this is the new life
carved out of the old one—
these new days
still break open
with sun
and the chill I look forward to
every year has returned.
Nothing is different
except now
there is no expectation—
no date to look forward to
that will pass again into history
leaving me in despair.
Hundreds of days
have been like pockets
holding my hope—
and the pleasure it brought me
to dream.
Memories that once made tears
only bring a smile now.
Bittersweet acceptance
has finally covered my hurt
like the blanket I wrap around me
when I sit under the crisping oaks
without him.

*****

DeMaris
9-20-2020

“Sun Shield” by Andrew Wyeth, 1982

Published by demarisgaunt

I currently live in Greenwood, Indiana. I love to listen to music, books on CD, podcasts or NPR as I work in my studio.  My favorite artists are Andrew Wyeth and Edward Hopper. I love poetry, but only the good stuff that isn’t so abstract I can’t understand it. Abstraction better lends itself to visual art, I think. Stephen Dunn is my favorite poet. He’s said just about anything that can be said about the inner workings of the heart and mind. My favorite novel is Atonement by Ian McEwan. My all time favorite band is The Cure. I love science, and anything that relates to how the mind works. I don’t believe in the supernatural. If I could meet anyone in the world, it would be Richard Dawkins or Steven Pinker. If you don’t buy my art or read my poetry, buy one of their books. It will enrich if not change your life.  My favorite things to do are hiking, kayaking and camping. My favorite food is so common, I’ll keep you in suspense (It starts with a P). I prefer chocolate to vanilla. Green is my favorite color. I have an aversion to planning or scheduling of any kind, and I live for spontaneous adventures! Telephone conversations make me anxious, and I avoid them at almost all cost. I had a happy childhood. I’m having a pretty fantastic adulthood. I have every intention of seeing my 100th birthday, after which I will happily relinquish my guts to the future of medicine. Cheers! ~DeMaris

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