Today the ax came down into the log got stuck wouldn’t budge so I placed my ungloved hand like a sacrifice upon its plane to steady the wood while I wiggled the ax loose— there was a slip a shock a split-second glimpse of white bone before the blood turned everything red, and the pain hadn’t yet come as I walked toward the house I built with these two hands but once inside the trobbing demanded every unhurt cell in my body appreciate the power and impact of one careless mistake— the way no part of my being would be able to relax.
And so it goes—
Tomorrow will mark one year since I put a different pain on the chopping block— tried to sever a love I wanted more than anything else in the world into two pieces because I couldn’t have it whole. I cut into it divided it made it bleed slowly out by cutting up every heart he loved— and sitting in the dark with this new pain feels deserved and I wish I could tell him I dreamt about him last night and that his memory still causes my heart to ache throb hurt more than this flesh wound— and I would sacrifice this hand if it meant I could hold his one more time.
I currently live in Greenwood, Indiana. I love to listen to music, books on CD, podcasts or NPR as I work in my studio. My favorite artists are Andrew Wyeth and Edward Hopper. I love poetry, but only the good stuff that isn’t so abstract I can’t understand it. Abstraction better lends itself to visual art, I think. Stephen Dunn is my favorite poet. He’s said just about anything that can be said about the inner workings of the heart and mind. My favorite novel is Atonement by Ian McEwan. My all time favorite band is The Cure. I love science, and anything that relates to how the mind works. I don’t believe in the supernatural. If I could meet anyone in the world, it would be Richard Dawkins or Steven Pinker. If you don’t buy my art or read my poetry, buy one of their books. It will enrich if not change your life. My favorite things to do are hiking, kayaking and camping. My favorite food is so common, I’ll keep you in suspense (It starts with a P). I prefer chocolate to vanilla. Green is my favorite color. I have an aversion to planning or scheduling of any kind, and I live for spontaneous adventures! Telephone conversations make me anxious, and I avoid them at almost all cost. I had a happy childhood. I’m having a pretty fantastic adulthood. I have every intention of seeing my 100th birthday, after which I will happily relinquish my guts to the future of medicine.
Cheers! ~DeMaris
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