Twenty years behind her, beneath her. Under her is the past. It’s hers. It was easy until it was hard. It’s the wish of her parents that she join them but her wish will override theirs. She will forfeit the purple balloons the white cake the perfectly wrapped gifts and let the blue cloudless day surround her comfort her remind her she doesn’t have to be like them. She doesn’t have to live without love affection intimacy joy— for the sake of what? She knows forgiveness is what he wants, her father— who spent the last three years in love with an idea that didn’t share her mother’s name. She wants her mother to know she will never be played humiliated abandoned cheated by any man and stick around to let him do it again. This is her breaking point. This is the end. This is the day she will decide she will not give anyone in her future power hope love if there is a lie discovered wedged hidden between what she believes and what she knows to be true. Twenty is how many years it took her to discover trust wasn’t something that could be expected from a marriage a few decades old. Trust would be always the mirage in the desert— the smoke rising fading disappearing after the candles were all blown out.
I currently live in Greenwood, Indiana. I love to listen to music, books on CD, podcasts or NPR as I work in my studio. My favorite artists are Andrew Wyeth and Edward Hopper. I love poetry, but only the good stuff that isn’t so abstract I can’t understand it. Abstraction better lends itself to visual art, I think. Stephen Dunn is my favorite poet. He’s said just about anything that can be said about the inner workings of the heart and mind. My favorite novel is Atonement by Ian McEwan. My all time favorite band is The Cure. I love science, and anything that relates to how the mind works. I don’t believe in the supernatural. If I could meet anyone in the world, it would be Richard Dawkins or Steven Pinker. If you don’t buy my art or read my poetry, buy one of their books. It will enrich if not change your life. My favorite things to do are hiking, kayaking and camping. My favorite food is so common, I’ll keep you in suspense (It starts with a P). I prefer chocolate to vanilla. Green is my favorite color. I have an aversion to planning or scheduling of any kind, and I live for spontaneous adventures! Telephone conversations make me anxious, and I avoid them at almost all cost. I had a happy childhood. I’m having a pretty fantastic adulthood. I have every intention of seeing my 100th birthday, after which I will happily relinquish my guts to the future of medicine.
Cheers! ~DeMaris
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