Eros, a Theory

Maybe loveat its bestis merely a wishfull of every hopeand possibilitythat can be containedwithin a heart—and to attach itto voiceto nearnessto touchis to destroy its puritywith needwith boredomwith expectationsthat can never pleaselike our imagination. DeMaris4-30-2021 “Resting” by Antonio Mancini, 1887

How I Know I Loved You

I know becausestillI talk about youso fondlywith such loveandeven compassion. I know becausestillyour happinessis my desirethough you found ittherewithout me. I know becauseI learnedhow to sitwith your absencein my handsin my bedand there’s no regret. I know becauseI can stilldo goodbe goodfeel goodevery daybecause of you. I know becauseenough timehas passedfor me to healand IContinue reading “How I Know I Loved You”

Maybe in July

Greif will let go, slowly—unclench one fist, then the other,the way you knead the breadwhile you look out the kitchen windowremembering the way he held you—the way he was supposed to be hereas part of your landscape, now—and he is.He is the larkspur in your vase,the heat from the oven,the warm breeze carrying the scentContinue reading “Maybe in July”

I Will Love You Anyway

I would carry your angerif you would give it to me I would listen to your fearsif only you’d tell me I would help you discoverthe purpose inside you I would give you my heartif you’d let me beside you I would follow you anywherefor one chance more I would fall at your feetif you’dContinue reading “I Will Love You Anyway”

What I Will Say

I will want to sayI’m sorrybut I will never love you. I will want to explainthis is not going to happen again. I will want to saythis is how he touched me.This is where he put his tongue. You will never knowwhat I made him feel. You will neverreceive my tendernessor hold my happinessin yourContinue reading “What I Will Say”

Where Will We Go

Remember?We were going to travel togetheranywhereeverywherebut nowI’m writing these poemsthat are really letters to younot knowing if there is any hopeleft in your heartthat we will sit togetherat our kitchen tablewith the laptop opento Costa RicaSan FranciscoWarsawcomparing airlinessearching for the best viewsfoodwine—I want to be a global citizen with youafter you returnafter my exileafter IContinue reading “Where Will We Go”

Where I Find You

Every night I look for you.I close my eyes to see the way—to retrace my steps—to be pulled by memoryback into the blissof wandering around with you  in our familiar places.In Fountain Squarewe are sitting in the corner boothat Peppy Grill.I watch us grinning shylyand I am not surprised at allwhen I hear myself speakContinue reading “Where I Find You”