What I Will Say

I will want to say
I’m sorry
but I will never love you.

I will want to explain
this is not going to happen again.

I will want to say
this is how he touched me.
This is where he put his tongue.

You will never know
what I made him feel.

You will never
receive my tenderness
or hold my happiness
in your hands.

I want you to know
my heart is closed
and sealed around him.

There is no room left for you.

He is the rock inside me
you will pound against
trying to break loose
my affection.

No one without his face and name
will fill me.  

I will want to explain
you are merely a surrogate body.

When I close my eyes
all I will feel
is him.


“The Beautiful Woman Without Mercy” by John William Waterhouse

Published by demarisgaunt

I currently live in Greenwood, Indiana. I love to listen to music, books on CD, podcasts or NPR as I work in my studio.  My favorite artists are Andrew Wyeth and Edward Hopper. I love poetry, but only the good stuff that isn’t so abstract I can’t understand it. Abstraction better lends itself to visual art, I think. Stephen Dunn is my favorite poet. He’s said just about anything that can be said about the inner workings of the heart and mind. My favorite novel is Atonement by Ian McEwan. My all time favorite band is The Cure. I love science, and anything that relates to how the mind works. I don’t believe in the supernatural. If I could meet anyone in the world, it would be Richard Dawkins or Steven Pinker. If you don’t buy my art or read my poetry, buy one of their books. It will enrich if not change your life.  My favorite things to do are hiking, kayaking and camping. My favorite food is so common, I’ll keep you in suspense (It starts with a P). I prefer chocolate to vanilla. Green is my favorite color. I have an aversion to planning or scheduling of any kind, and I live for spontaneous adventures! Telephone conversations make me anxious, and I avoid them at almost all cost. I had a happy childhood. I’m having a pretty fantastic adulthood. I have every intention of seeing my 100th birthday, after which I will happily relinquish my guts to the future of medicine. Cheers! ~DeMaris

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