Look

Do you remember
how I always hated it
when people began a sentence with,

“Look…”

Look…

sounds so condescending
righteous—
as if we are all about to be schooled
on how things really are—
how things ought to be
or how they ought to have been.

Look…

is how I’d like to begin the sentence
I’d like to say to you.

And it wouldn’t be condescending
or righteous
or demanding
or belittling
or…

but it would be followed
by a litany of grievances
and a list of everything I feel I’ve tolerated
up until now

and I would give you a chance
to remind me of all the shit I did
to fuck everything up—

but I would admit it
own it
try to make amends
try to move forward…

Look…

Hear me.

Listen, goddammit.

Choose.

Make a decision.

Stay, or go.

Find me, tell me:

“Look. I love you.
But this and this and this and this
need to be fixed and functioning
before we can be we…”

Then I would feel the weight
of uncertainty
lifted
removed
replaced by the hope of a future
where you and I pick up
where we left off—

debating the definitions
usage
vernacular
linguistics
semantics
of the thing between us
we have always called love

and we would only ever
start a sentence with “Look…”
if it were followed by words like,
“…what I did for you today”






DeMaris
5-26-2021

Published by demarisgaunt

I currently live in Greenwood, Indiana. I love to listen to music, books on CD, podcasts or NPR as I work in my studio.  My favorite artists are Andrew Wyeth and Edward Hopper. I love poetry, but only the good stuff that isn’t so abstract I can’t understand it. Abstraction better lends itself to visual art, I think. Stephen Dunn is my favorite poet. He’s said just about anything that can be said about the inner workings of the heart and mind. My favorite novel is Atonement by Ian McEwan. My all time favorite band is The Cure. I love science, and anything that relates to how the mind works. I don’t believe in the supernatural. If I could meet anyone in the world, it would be Richard Dawkins or Steven Pinker. If you don’t buy my art or read my poetry, buy one of their books. It will enrich if not change your life.  My favorite things to do are hiking, kayaking and camping. My favorite food is so common, I’ll keep you in suspense (It starts with a P). I prefer chocolate to vanilla. Green is my favorite color. I have an aversion to planning or scheduling of any kind, and I live for spontaneous adventures! Telephone conversations make me anxious, and I avoid them at almost all cost. I had a happy childhood. I’m having a pretty fantastic adulthood. I have every intention of seeing my 100th birthday, after which I will happily relinquish my guts to the future of medicine. Cheers! ~DeMaris

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