I’m sorry I’m wasted on someone else who wasted me had me had his way threw me away kept his life his home his wife oh my god if only I could make him go get out of my mind my heart my soul you and I oh my god we’re destined to become nothingContinue reading “Wasted”

Temporary Man

I need to tell you stop you’re falling you don’t understand that I will not I will never love you I can’t I don’t even wish I could but I see you’re good I see how kind you are to me it feels like something I should want but I don’t because I I IContinue reading “Temporary Man”

Fucking, Full Circle

I woke up thinking about two men one who used to fuck me and one who wants to and I want to fuck both of them one because he has all my love the other because he wants to love me and I want to give him the hope that the man I love hasContinue reading “Fucking, Full Circle”

A Shared Experience

“Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, they forgive them.” – Oscar Wilde Believe me— I understand how you loved him all you your life and then you didn’t— can’t, now, forgive him or accept that he is complicated— capable of love you can’t yet comprehend— wholeContinue reading “A Shared Experience”

Peace Day

It is the first day without a pulsing hope that one day soon we will have a joyous reunion— a longed-for embrace on the bank of the small creek running through the woods where we first met. Somehow it doesn’t hurt like I thought it would— I suppose, because nothing has changed in our proximity—Continue reading “Peace Day”

Not a House of Cards

There are no instructions for this for the after like what am I supposed to do now with his white t-shirt with the shadow box on the wall holding the stones I found when we were together and the concert ticket from that best-night-ever tucked behind the pinecone the notes he wrote what do IContinue reading “Not a House of Cards”

Breakup Strategy

His was to do nothing— not a thing. Omit. Let her guess languish wonder question his absence motives intentions— and he was silent inactive because he was smart— knew that speaking or doing would mean admitting to being involved to being responsible complicit in her anguish— and if he acted aloof innocent naïve even kindContinue reading “Breakup Strategy”

The Four-Year Affair is Finally Over

How about a little toast tonight to the winner to the one I loved longed for languished over these past four years wow what a performance what a splendid remarkable sadistic feat of endurance to twist my hope into a knot so tight I bled internally as I waited and all the while I waitedContinue reading “The Four-Year Affair is Finally Over”

Something Sharp

You can’t sleep when you’re suffering so you lay in the silent dark for a long time get up realize suffering has followed you into the kitchen pre-dawn darkness all around you except for the singular yellow glow of an old lamp that used to sit on the piano at your parents’ house when youContinue reading “Something Sharp”