I Won’t Go

I could go— sit for a while in the small meadow, walk along the creek, admire the sunflowers and the pink and purple phlox, but I wouldn’t find what I’d be looking for— those elusive treefrogs, green, like my envy for what will never be mine. There is joy enough remembering what else I foundContinue reading “I Won’t Go”

Wherever I Go

One o’clock departure. Hot. Bright. Anticipation. Our date was with the whales. Fifteen miles from the edge of everything. Land nowhere in sight. We were Hollywood. Glamorous. Me, red summer dress, big sunglasses. You, careless gray hair, enviably cool. Everyone was looking. At the humpbacks. At each other. Some couples held hands. Some didn’t touchContinue reading “Wherever I Go”

What We Were Spared

All attempts: failed. This is the time to let go. To unclench my fists. To remember, softly, everything. We were going to be— we were going to be— we were going to be— no that’s not a typo. That’s just the way it feels to be wrong. And to know it. To have the wishContinue reading “What We Were Spared”

Post-Song Silence

Some songs travel into the backroads of my heart, speak as if I’d written them— the music the words the vibe sinks into every void inside me, fills my senses with the pleasure of feeling known— and if I’m in the car with the radio on I turn it off when the song ends becauseContinue reading “Post-Song Silence”

In the Morning

The coffee is a pleasure, small, looked forward to like the flowers outside in need of water— what a joy it is to give them a drink, to prune the spent blossoms in order to have more— and the neighbor waves as she walks by, her dog impatiently pulling her along into the golden day.Continue reading “In the Morning”

Proof of Love

How do I do this how do I go on how do I live without his love how do I replace himredefine my existence without him I’m here alone remembering everything wonderful he whispered into my ear— every promise he made I have written down on this piece of paper I am holding I haveContinue reading “Proof of Love”

These Days

As if today could be spared could be whole could be undivided by grief longing perpetual hope that is in itself a form of torture I wish it were possible to believe the broken heart could heal in six weeks like a broken bone held tight within the cast of a steadfast embrace but it’sContinue reading “These Days”