What We Were Spared

All attempts: failed.
This is the time to let go.
To unclench my fists.
To remember, softly, everything.
We were going to be—
we were going to be—
we were going to be—
no
that’s not a typo.
That’s just the way it feels to be wrong.
And to know it.
To have the wish blown out right in front of you.
Extinguished.
It doesn’t matter that I was right for you
or that you were right for me
during that brief and magical and marvelous time.
It was impossible
for me to see you in love with anyone else.
Living domestically with anyone else.
Making black bean burgers with anyone else.
But.
You would go on—
You would go on—
You would move on.
We would never argue about what to fix for dinner
or who should do the dishes
or how much money I spent
or how much money you spent
or where we should spend Christmas
or with who
or what gifts to give
or what movie we should watch
or what music we should play
or what island to fly to
or who you were talking to
or who I was talking to
or why we never—




DeMaris
7-19-2021

Published by demarisgaunt

I currently live in Greenwood, Indiana. I love to listen to music, books on CD, podcasts or NPR as I work in my studio.  My favorite artists are Andrew Wyeth and Edward Hopper. I love poetry, but only the good stuff that isn’t so abstract I can’t understand it. Abstraction better lends itself to visual art, I think. Stephen Dunn is my favorite poet. He’s said just about anything that can be said about the inner workings of the heart and mind. My favorite novel is Atonement by Ian McEwan. My all time favorite band is The Cure. I love science, and anything that relates to how the mind works. I don’t believe in the supernatural. If I could meet anyone in the world, it would be Richard Dawkins or Steven Pinker. If you don’t buy my art or read my poetry, buy one of their books. It will enrich if not change your life.  My favorite things to do are hiking, kayaking and camping. My favorite food is so common, I’ll keep you in suspense (It starts with a P). I prefer chocolate to vanilla. Green is my favorite color. I have an aversion to planning or scheduling of any kind, and I live for spontaneous adventures! Telephone conversations make me anxious, and I avoid them at almost all cost. I had a happy childhood. I’m having a pretty fantastic adulthood. I have every intention of seeing my 100th birthday, after which I will happily relinquish my guts to the future of medicine. Cheers! ~DeMaris

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