Phantom Love

Phantom Love

Today
your love
was like a phantom limb.
It saved me,
caught me after a fall.
The house painter I hired in August
was supposed to be finished
by the end of September
but kept postponing
delaying
rescheduling
and here it is
the end of October
and the call came again—
a total resignation this time
which felt like a slap
in the face of my ongoing patience
and understanding
especially
since he had 40 5-star reviews online
for quality
value
and, get this, punctuality.
But he feels bad, he said—
feels like someone else
might be able to serve me better.
My deposit
will be refunded promptly, he swears—
like all those times
he assured me
it wouldn’t be much longer.
And this situation might
on another day
in another mood
cause me distress in myriad ways
but today
I’ve been thinking of how it felt
when you loved me—
the way nothing
not even
this catastrophic-seeming inconvenience
could possibly matter
or distract
or scratch or dent or tarnish
the solid
priceless
perfection
of our life together
or our love
which I still sometimes feel
wrapped securely
tightly
around me.

DeMaris
10-21-21

Published by demarisgaunt

I currently live in Greenwood, Indiana. I love to listen to music, books on CD, podcasts or NPR as I work in my studio.  My favorite artists are Andrew Wyeth and Edward Hopper. I love poetry, but only the good stuff that isn’t so abstract I can’t understand it. Abstraction better lends itself to visual art, I think. Stephen Dunn is my favorite poet. He’s said just about anything that can be said about the inner workings of the heart and mind. My favorite novel is Atonement by Ian McEwan. My all time favorite band is The Cure. I love science, and anything that relates to how the mind works. I don’t believe in the supernatural. If I could meet anyone in the world, it would be Richard Dawkins or Steven Pinker. If you don’t buy my art or read my poetry, buy one of their books. It will enrich if not change your life.  My favorite things to do are hiking, kayaking and camping. My favorite food is so common, I’ll keep you in suspense (It starts with a P). I prefer chocolate to vanilla. Green is my favorite color. I have an aversion to planning or scheduling of any kind, and I live for spontaneous adventures! Telephone conversations make me anxious, and I avoid them at almost all cost. I had a happy childhood. I’m having a pretty fantastic adulthood. I have every intention of seeing my 100th birthday, after which I will happily relinquish my guts to the future of medicine. Cheers! ~DeMaris

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