I Still Use You

Every time, I use you— the memory of your face, your body, the way you felt inside me— I use the template we cut from our encounters to turn my hands into your hands— to feel what no one else has since felt. I close my eyes so I can see you above me smilingContinue reading “I Still Use You”

Watching You Shave

Remember the lightin the bathroom?The one on the accordion arm? A twelve-inch illuminated circlewith a magnifying mirrorin the middle— we were like children in awegigglingcould see every poreeyelashlinein our skinbut we couldn’t see the linebeginning to separate usthe line we crossedto arrive in that hotelwhere the next morningI sat on the side of the tubwatchedContinue reading “Watching You Shave”

Locked Out

Two years almost since you touched me kissed me and all those other things I loved lived for lay down for when we found ourselves alone and no no one else since you has been granted access privilege rights to what’s inside me there is nobody else who will enter my heart even though tonightContinue reading “Locked Out”

September Grieving

We all have them: questions. Like, shouldn’t I be okay by now? Am I normal? Abnormal? Can I at least fit in when it’s going to matter? At the grocery store, say, or at the library, or as I greet the neighbors when we arrive simultaneously at the row of mailboxes? Is it okay, IContinue reading “September Grieving”

Wasted

I’m sorry I’m wasted on someone else who wasted me had me had his way threw me away kept his life his home his wife oh my god if only I could make him go get out of my mind my heart my soul you and I oh my god we’re destined to become nothingContinue reading “Wasted”

Fucking, Full Circle

I woke up thinking about two men one who used to fuck me and one who wants to and I want to fuck both of them one because he has all my love the other because he wants to love me and I want to give him the hope that the man I love hasContinue reading “Fucking, Full Circle”

Constellation of Us

The front seatwas a perfect world of darkness—the glow of the street lamplike a moonguiding your handcontrolling my tidesand you found every treasureburied under my clothes—you didn’t want me to touch youyetuntil you were finisheduntil my desire was so heavyI could hardly open my eyesafter the connectionbetween our lips was lostand thenthere was the ungracefulContinue reading “Constellation of Us”

Eros, a Theory

Maybe loveat its bestis merely a wishfull of every hopeand possibilitythat can be containedwithin a heart—and to attach itto voiceto nearnessto touchis to destroy its puritywith needwith boredomwith expectationsthat can never pleaselike our imagination. DeMaris4-30-2021 “Resting” by Antonio Mancini, 1887

What I Will Say

I will want to sayI’m sorrybut I will never love you. I will want to explainthis is not going to happen again. I will want to saythis is how he touched me.This is where he put his tongue. You will never knowwhat I made him feel. You will neverreceive my tendernessor hold my happinessin yourContinue reading “What I Will Say”

Where I Find You

Every night I look for you.I close my eyes to see the way—to retrace my steps—to be pulled by memoryback into the blissof wandering around with you  in our familiar places.In Fountain Squarewe are sitting in the corner boothat Peppy Grill.I watch us grinning shylyand I am not surprised at allwhen I hear myself speakContinue reading “Where I Find You”