I Still Feel It

A little differently. A little less. This is how I love you now— now that time has made a fool of us, of me, of you, you, who loved me as completely as I loved you— but you couldn’t find a way to undo unravel untangle the bramble of every choice you made before yourContinue reading “I Still Feel It”

Temporary Housing

Temporary Housing After he moved back in temporarily after he sold his house and was looking for a new one we went right back into the routine that I once found claustrophobic tedious   boring never quite oppressive. But the years apart informed methat the routine would follow me anywhere— that no one else wouldContinue reading “Temporary Housing”

Tradition of Bias on the Drive Home

Tradition of Bias on the Drive Home We agree the Thanksgiving dinner was wonderful— the turkey, perfection the rolls, divine— the variety of indulgences colored the countertop like a mosaic and we consumed everything with the hunger of the starved. The homemade apple pie, gone, before we finished our heaping plates, but it was okayContinue reading “Tradition of Bias on the Drive Home”

My Son Calls Me Plato

My Son Calls Me Plato Before I go to the grocery I always ask him “anything you want?” and always every time he says “shakes”— you know, the breakfast kind chocolate pack of twelve I say no way every time— it’s become a joke an affectionate game because I always come home with something healthyContinue reading “My Son Calls Me Plato”

When My Time Comes

Unless it’s an accidentI’ll chose the day I go —it will be planned in advanceor maybe spontaneous —but it will be my decisionmy method —my endurancehaving hit the stone wallwhere my tolerancefor pain, painkillers or potionsfinally runs out —or maybe the hardnessof being humanwill make me so softmy head will agree with my heartfor onceContinue reading “When My Time Comes”

Emergency

Stubborncrusted snowon the windshield,the morning still dark,still cold –but it came –this new next daywe weren’t promised –and tomorrowhas become a hope,not a guaranteeas we cut throughthe darkto the ERwhere wordsare whisperedas if they could hurt us –and the cancerbegins to show usits terrible pain. DeMaris 1-18-2021

Hindsight

For K. The middle-aged womansits beside her fathers’ bed—devastated and confusedby her own angerthat squeezes his hand too hardafter she learns she was the reasonher parents never divorced—that this man who loved her so muchdidn’t think he’d be forgivenif the love he foundin her sixteenth yearwas given a chance to grow biggerthan the love thatContinue reading “Hindsight”

Everyone

selfish everyone everywhere people wanting nothing more than whatever the fuck they want and what they want is to self-serve beyond need for instance this person over here needs your help needs you to take your time and invest it in unpleasant ways even though you have a life of obligations and the amount ofContinue reading “Everyone”

Perfect Love

My granddaughter puts on her father’s t-shirt before bed on this night the whole family has gathered in a hotel for the weekend and when I see her dance and twirl and laugh when she sees that the hem nearly touches the floor I am 3 again and for the first time in over 40Continue reading “Perfect Love”

Dissolve

You found one on the side of your house— an Assassin Bug: black and glossy with a rounded sharp-ridged back— a tiny stegosaurus with a name that means I’m not messing around— not like you’ve been messing around for the past year— waiting until everyone else was asleep before you tiptoed into the night toContinue reading “Dissolve”