I Still Use You

Every time, I use you— the memory of your face, your body, the way you felt inside me— I use the template we cut from our encounters to turn my hands into your hands— to feel what no one else has since felt. I close my eyes so I can see you above me smilingContinue reading “I Still Use You”

I Was Right

When we were we— in love so deep we couldn’t see a way out, I would memorize the way your chest felt beneath my hand, the way your neck contoured my breath— the warmth of love settling into permanence. I knew, in those moments, everything the world had to teach me. I knew nothing wouldContinue reading “I Was Right”

My Estranged Relationship with Hope

I read a poem online. It was about loss. It wasn’t good. I write bad poems too, so I don’t judge the confusion of others who do the same thing I do to cope grieve lose, ungracefully, everything. This life is easy before it’s hard. But it was hard before it was easy. It’s aContinue reading “My Estranged Relationship with Hope”

I Won’t Go

I could go— sit for a while in the small meadow, walk along the creek, admire the sunflowers and the pink and purple phlox, but I wouldn’t find what I’d be looking for— those elusive treefrogs, green, like my envy for what will never be mine. There is joy enough remembering what else I foundContinue reading “I Won’t Go”

What We Were Spared

All attempts: failed. This is the time to let go. To unclench my fists. To remember, softly, everything. We were going to be— we were going to be— we were going to be— no that’s not a typo. That’s just the way it feels to be wrong. And to know it. To have the wishContinue reading “What We Were Spared”