I Still Use You

Every time, I use you— the memory of your face, your body, the way you felt inside me— I use the template we cut from our encounters to turn my hands into your hands— to feel what no one else has since felt. I close my eyes so I can see you above me smilingContinue reading “I Still Use You”

Eros, a Theory

Maybe loveat its bestis merely a wishfull of every hopeand possibilitythat can be containedwithin a heart—and to attach itto voiceto nearnessto touchis to destroy its puritywith needwith boredomwith expectationsthat can never pleaselike our imagination. DeMaris4-30-2021 “Resting” by Antonio Mancini, 1887


Remember when we agreedthat one should avoidusing the word shouldwhen trying to coax actionout of someone else?Best, we decided,if suggestionswere presented as optionsinstead of commands.Like—You might want to add more salt…You may want to practice a little more…It might look better without the belt…I wonder if the red might be too much…Are you sure we’llContinue reading “Command”

Street Corner

It’s 10:50 a.m. and no calls are coming in from employers needing my un-degreed skills to wash dishes or make beds or sell shoes or dispatch emergency vehicles or cash paychecks— and I haven’t had a payday in a while but there’s still food in the fridge and in the pantry and the electricity hasn’tContinue reading “Street Corner”

Without Light

Desperate, you almost reach out. You almost make the call that would undo the tight little knot you made with the loose ends that have been dragging behind you like the dead weight of love after it can’t stand up straight— so you leave the house after dark without a lifeline without a light hopingContinue reading “Without Light”

Welcome Packet

Dearest lover, I have compiled a list of instructions— a user guide for this body you claim to love— know first that my heart is not filled by you— you alone do not feed or complete me. There will always be an unnamed vacancy beside you. Please know my time with you will never beContinue reading “Welcome Packet”


The filter is on and love is squirming twisting trying to say what it feels like it needs to say but I am the gatekeeper who decides how much should be revealed and I have one finger on the trigger one foot on the gas another finger over the barrel and one heel about toContinue reading “Filter”

No Right

A man and a woman have no right to fall to feel to fantasize about each other or about a life outside their bedroom even if the bed they go home to is empty or on the floor or otherwise unoccupied by heat as long as this man and this woman have somehow committed theContinue reading “No Right”

The Unexpected

(After Watching a Documentary on North Korea)  Sometimes, there are unexpected pleasures which appear in the form of vegetables on your doorstep— a gift from your neighbor, whose surplus became a kindness you will want to repay. Once, we woke in winter to the noise of another neighbor pushing his snow blower up and downContinue reading “The Unexpected”