For peace, she is willing to take a pill every day that will take away her pleasures her poetry her creativity because it will also take away want and wish and turn love into something benign, undesired— something she used to be capable of. DeMaris 3-10-2022

Sometimes I’m So Happy

Sometimes I’m So Happy Yes sometimes everything is wonderful perfect just right a smile finds its way to my lips there is so much happiness gratitude abundance so much right in my little world and every time I feel the delights of this or that my wish is so simple pure earnest my wish isContinue reading “Sometimes I’m So Happy”

An Unverifiable Truth

An Unverifiable Truth I used to think know believe that I loved you so much I wanted your happiness above all else even if it wasn’t with me but now I think of how bitter I’ll feel in the future when I’m living my life without you— you with someone else, you happy as youContinue reading “An Unverifiable Truth”

Pillar of Stone

Pillar of Stone Grief has set like concrete in my heart and there is nothing no one to soften what you made hard what you did was wicked cunning evil what you did was open me up fill me with the shape of your body then leave me with beautiful promises heavy as stones soContinue reading “Pillar of Stone”

Proof of Love

How do I do this how do I go on how do I live without his love how do I replace himredefine my existence without him I’m here alone remembering everything wonderful he whispered into my ear— every promise he made I have written down on this piece of paper I am holding I haveContinue reading “Proof of Love”

Somebody Tell Me How

I keep thinking about itwonderingasking myself what it all meant—all that time,that waiting for him,all that investment,all that believing I could believe him—I believed himwhen he said what he said—when he said he had always loved me.What lesson is mine?What have I learned?How have I grown?What is the takeaway here?How do I find the peaceContinue reading “Somebody Tell Me How”

No Answer

I am gathering up the wordsfor what it means to be—what it feels like to be—to be what?Lost?Left?Hurt?Used?Betrayed?Mistaken?The words I want to say to you are ugly—they contain a meaning that opposes love.The words I want to useare the antithesis of lovebecause there is no more of it in me.I want the words I feelContinue reading “No Answer”