Now that I am certain you will never return I wonder how much more time will have to pass before I stop wanting you to.
I read a poem online. It was about loss. It wasn’t good. I write bad poems too, so I don’t judge the confusion of others who do the same thing I do to cope grieve lose, ungracefully, everything. This life is easy before it’s hard. But it was hard before it was easy. It’s aContinue reading “My Estranged Relationship with Hope”
There are no instructions for this for the after like what am I supposed to do now with his white t-shirt with the shadow box on the wall holding the stones I found when we were together and the concert ticket from that best-night-ever tucked behind the pinecone the notes he wrote what do IContinue reading “Not a House of Cards”
We all hated it that mom had a closet full of clothes with the tags still on shoes never worn a set of wedding China unused in the cupboards a diamond tennis bracelet worn approximately once a home built for entertaining never filled with guests drawers of blank stationery that never got the chance toContinue reading “Elegy for a Damn Good Mother: An Explanation”
1. Frogfest 2. Camerina tequila 3. Peppy Grill 4. Food faces 5. Rusty Dutch oven 6. Blue streamers 7. Black I Wonder sign 8. Vile of mud 9. Melody Inn 10. Bicycle escapes 11. Sitting on a sycamore 12. White t-shirt 13. Art show surprise visit 14. Skin cancer 15. Concert at the Murat 16.Continue reading “57 Abbreviated Memories, No Particular Order”
After we made love he asked if I was thinking of you and I said no and I made it sound true.
Hearing myself speak to a dear old friend at the grocery store about the one I loved was a revelation— and pulled out of me a few facts I’d never heard out loud— facts like: I loved him because… But this… But that… We didn’t… We couldn’t… and I watched pity twist her face intoContinue reading “Out Loud”
I wanted all of you instead of just the part of you that loved me. I wanted the other bits too— the large and burdened sections of you that felt unhinged and reckless for breaking up the calm you thought would always be yours. I wanted you to want me to see your shadow side—Continue reading “All of You”
I don’t have a photograph of my favorite memory with you— you sitting at the kitchen table with your reading glasses on after you’d just read to me a passage from your favorite book. You look so content with your eyes settled on the page— and this snapshot is clearer to me than any photographContinue reading “Lost Love Almanac, Entry #1”
Nowhere to go to be alone and hidden from the scrutinizing view of loved ones except the bathroom— the bathtub if you can get away with it— and you have ten minutes to get rid of those tears that will be suppressed not another minute and when you turn off the water there will stillContinue reading “Under”