I Was Right

When we were we— in love so deep we couldn’t see a way out, I would memorize the way your chest felt beneath my hand, the way your neck contoured my breath— the warmth of love settling into permanence. I knew, in those moments, everything the world had to teach me. I knew nothing wouldContinue reading “I Was Right”

New Everything

New Everything Knowing now the depth of some mistakes he made he said goodbye to the house the dog the wife the child made his way across town to the new apartment granite countertops everything more modern than what he left behind even the couch inherited from a friend is more comfortable than the oneContinue reading “New Everything”

Not a House of Cards

There are no instructions for this for the after like what am I supposed to do now with his white t-shirt with the shadow box on the wall holding the stones I found when we were together and the concert ticket from that best-night-ever tucked behind the pinecone the notes he wrote what do IContinue reading “Not a House of Cards”

Video Message, October 22, 2018

A 36-hour power outagehad ruined a fridge full of food—there was nothing to save,nothing that could be donebut have a little fun in the backyardwith the carton of eggs—“Bomb the garage!”might have been her ideaor suggested by her dad,who had the forethoughtto record and send me this evidencethat joy could come from loss—and years laterContinue reading “Video Message, October 22, 2018”

Mea Culpa

For so longwe were a secretthat stretched outthrough timeuntil webecame singular: me.And I am the onewho rushedand destroyedour foundationwith needwith truthwith a risk so recklessit’s no wonderI am alonebaking this breadI always imagined usbaking together—our future so nearI could almost taste it.But we crackedlike these twogolden loavessplit by the heat—split down the middleleaving us scarredhardenedseparatedlikeContinue reading “Mea Culpa”

Tenth Floor

I walked from a few blocks away because parking isn’t free or reasonable in the kind of hotels with their own parking garage and with white-gloved valets accustomed to the bucket seats of Porsches or Lamborghinis like the ones I walked between as I approached the lobby via the enormous rotating door spinning almost slowContinue reading “Tenth Floor”

Terms

We haven’t exactly agreed on what they are since we began in friendship months ago but it’s clear that making love (or maybe it was just sex to you) isn’t going to be the beautiful connection that causes your desire to lean in my direction or provoke an honest conversation with the woman you claimContinue reading “Terms”

Divided

I want too much again after I thought I’d convinced myself to enjoy whatever leftovers he gives me which is all he can give because he’s giving to her too and why should I want more than his love which he promised is mine even though she gets his bed and his time and hisContinue reading “Divided”

Choices

One of these days everything about our lives that is hidden and sacred and beautiful will be found out and uncovered and exposed— everything we’ve said and felt and done together will be discovered and scrutinized and judged to be bad and wrong and immoral and depraved and all we’ll have left is the choiceContinue reading “Choices”

Day After

It seems right to feel this high and this happy that yesterday under the trees I had him with me in my arms and on my lips— and his hands could feel how much my body loves him— and for one glorious hour everything else in the world disappeared— even the fact that we bothContinue reading “Day After”