I Still Use You

Every time, I use you— the memory of your face, your body, the way you felt inside me— I use the template we cut from our encounters to turn my hands into your hands— to feel what no one else has since felt. I close my eyes so I can see you above me smilingContinue reading “I Still Use You”

Locked Out

Two years almost since you touched me kissed me and all those other things I loved lived for lay down for when we found ourselves alone and no no one else since you has been granted access privilege rights to what’s inside me there is nobody else who will enter my heart even though tonightContinue reading “Locked Out”

Wasted

I’m sorry I’m wasted on someone else who wasted me had me had his way threw me away kept his life his home his wife oh my god if only I could make him go get out of my mind my heart my soul you and I oh my god we’re destined to become nothingContinue reading “Wasted”

Temporary Man

I need to tell you stop you’re falling you don’t understand that I will not I will never love you I can’t I don’t even wish I could but I see you’re good I see how kind you are to me it feels like something I should want but I don’t because I I IContinue reading “Temporary Man”

Fucking, Full Circle

I woke up thinking about two men one who used to fuck me and one who wants to and I want to fuck both of them one because he has all my love the other because he wants to love me and I want to give him the hope that the man I love hasContinue reading “Fucking, Full Circle”

Constellation of Us

The front seatwas a perfect world of darkness—the glow of the street lamplike a moonguiding your handcontrolling my tidesand you found every treasureburied under my clothes—you didn’t want me to touch youyetuntil you were finisheduntil my desire was so heavyI could hardly open my eyesafter the connectionbetween our lips was lostand thenthere was the ungracefulContinue reading “Constellation of Us”

Eros, a Theory

Maybe loveat its bestis merely a wishfull of every hopeand possibilitythat can be containedwithin a heart—and to attach itto voiceto nearnessto touchis to destroy its puritywith needwith boredomwith expectationsthat can never pleaselike our imagination. DeMaris4-30-2021 “Resting” by Antonio Mancini, 1887

How I Know I Loved You

I know becausestillI talk about youso fondlywith such loveandeven compassion. I know becausestillyour happinessis my desirethough you found ittherewithout me. I know becauseI learnedhow to sitwith your absencein my handsin my bedand there’s no regret. I know becauseI can stilldo goodbe goodfeel goodevery daybecause of you. I know becauseenough timehas passedfor me to healand IContinue reading “How I Know I Loved You”

What I Will Say

I will want to sayI’m sorrybut I will never love you. I will want to explainthis is not going to happen again. I will want to saythis is how he touched me.This is where he put his tongue. You will never knowwhat I made him feel. You will neverreceive my tendernessor hold my happinessin yourContinue reading “What I Will Say”

Unsent Letter To My Lover Who Left Me

I knewyou were not coming backknew you’d moved past our loveinto somethingor someoneI couldn’t comprehendso when he did those thingsyou used to doto hold my attentionto make me laughI began to let him inslowlyreluctantlycautiouslyknowing I’d take from himwhat I only wanted from you—but he knewhow to touch meopen meenter meremove youput you in the drawerwhereContinue reading “Unsent Letter To My Lover Who Left Me”